Ekanpou Enewaridideke: That Pele We Know

Over the years variegated theories have been created and bandied about Pele the rare prodigy of erudition, Pele the hysterical lover of PELECENTRIC image-mangling narratives on prominent sons and daughters of Ijaw – theories ideated to give believable verdict on the anatomy of this young man who serially sees himself as a loose cannon deliriously inspired to change the known narratives  on personalities like Isaac Boro, Feke, Tompolo, Ezaigba and many others, all in a dedicated pursuit of his pathological iconoclastic vision of society. One of these numerous theories sees Pele as the ACETYLCHOLINESTERASE in human interactions – constantly at war with accetylcholine and neuro-transmitter – as he perpetually glories in the blockage of any artery or tract for the flow of progressive ideals and development and positions himself firmly as the catalyst for the flow of negative stories/narratives on personalities and society, excited by the prospect of coronation as a destroyer of light.

The second theory on Pele, whose legal knowledge is hardly weighted in his narratives in the social media, sees him as the incarnation of hydrolysis in progressive human relations and cohesion as his recognizable auric vibration thrives best in the relentless composition of hysterical propaganda pretentiously packaged as a merchandise for the transformation of a benighted society. This is why Pele’s dance of iconoclasm against personalities seen as the beacon in the Niger Delta knows no hiatus or recess. He possesses an imaginative power phenomenal in the creation of negative narratives about personalities seen majorly as ethical guides and bringer of human development.

The third theory on Pele sees him as a man whose mind is a subject of congenital progressive decomposition, making him inexorably obsessional with the production of image-battering literatures on known personalities. This is one of the most revealing theories on Pele which lays bare his anatomy. This is the theory majority of his own Ayakoromo people hold unto in their interactions with him. For the believers of this theory they are not stung by the irrational verbal sting of Pele because it is stereotypical of him. For a mind laden with verbal junk, the delirious outlet created for their evacuation does some Aristotelian CATHARSIS for Pele. This explains why the majority of Ayakoromo people in Burutu Local Government of Delta State are not perturbed by any narrative on personalities hysterically created by him because they are always at home with his pathology, predisposition, obsession and absurdist dance of iconoclasm.

It is about this Pele whose behavioural imbecilities lend credence to every theory propounded about him the 21st CENTURY YOUTHS AND AGITATORS WITH CONSCIENCE unknowingly dignified in the Vanguard of 3 April 2018 through their publication ’Militants Carpet Tompolo’s Kinsmen over Allegation of Nepotism.’ The subject of this publication was that Demebide Pele had serially created an irrational evidence-starved narrative that Tompolo had hijacked contractual and employment opportunities in the Nigeria Maritime University, Okerenkoko. Some militants warned and advised Pele to abolish his evidence-starved narrative on Tompolo. A man declared wanted by the Federal Government over politically motivated allegations whose whereabouts nobody knows now controls contractual and employment spaces when he is neither the vice-chancellor nor the Chairman of the Governing Council of the Nigeria Maritime University, Okerenkoko? Is this not the stereotypical voyage of a loose cannon deliriously excited by his own stream of verbal junk released?

The militants who advised Pele to desist from his image-battering narrative on Tompolo misfired because giving Pele vast space to vomit his predicable verbal inanities is the only medication for his congenital incurable verbal schizophrenia. Pele’s verbal schizophrenia only retreats after his he has maximized the granted vast space to clear his mind clogged and glutted with verbal junk. The militant would not have erred and dignified him with advice if they had known the third theory on Pele held by a majority of his own Ayakoromo people – which is a potent neutralizer as potent as the guitar-playing medication for King Saul whenever the demonic visitation featured. However, even Chief Hon. Angozi Braduce chronically misfired in his interpretation of the third theory on Pele.

Some years back Pele was everywhere boasting that he would deploy his legal power to jail Chief Hon. Braduce when he became a Barrister. His boast came while he was still a law student when he was arrested by Chief Braduce and kept in the cell for sometime for verbal recklessness.  Eventually released he threatened to pursue the matter and jail Braduce on the day he was called to the bar. Pele has been called to the bar but Hon. Braduce, the one-time Burutu Council Chairman and Commissioner for Agriculture and Natural Resources, Delta State, is everywhere walking  – free. Where is Barrister Pele and his empty threats of imprisonment? Chief Hon. Braduce would not have arrested Pele if he had been aware of the third theory on Pele which has become everybody’s guide as a potent medication.

If it were in ancient times in our villages when beautifully carved images of gods worshipped were routinely stolen and sold to whitemen or pulverized in defence of godliness, Pele would have been a genius at either the THEFT or PULVERIZATION of these images because he is obsessed with the mangling of beautiful images carved either by God or man for the enhancement of the environment of man’s habitation. That Pele hysterically authors lie-coated narratives on Tompolo and others is a demonstration of the iconoclast in him.

This implacable lover of image-mangling narratives on targeted personalities called Pele has often been invisibly part of the instigation drama that led to the politically motivated hunting of Tompolo. Pele was too financially incapacitated to hog the pages of national dailies like the other besotted dancers in reinforcement of the calculated instigation against Tompolo. His contribution to the instigation drama was on the social media calling for the prosecution of Tompolo. He was not seen on the pages of Newspapers because he had no resources to do it. It was not even his vision that the Nigeria Maritime University, Okerenkoko, should ever take off. He would be only too glad if cancelling the NMU is part of the plan to hunt down Tompolo and his emancipation message. Since the NMU is billed to take off, Pele has to device other cunning mechanism to kill Tompolo’s image, pushing forward the tag of nepotism in a university controlled by constituted authorities. This is the peak of Pele’s vindictive dance of verbal schizophrenia systematically targeted to instigate Tompolo against the authorities of governance.

For those stung by Pele’s hysterical narrative on Tompolo, they should remain philosophical because the man in question is fittingly the acetylcholineterase in human interactions and cohesion, the objectionable hydrolysis in the business of societal growth, transformation and development whose congenital contraction of the virus of verbal schizophrenia has become the destabilizing force in social interaction, integration, dialectical engagement and evolvement of problem-solving mechanism as the plinth for societal transformation.

Pele about whom divergent theories have been formulated was my vibrant and  academically invincible classmate at Ayakoromo Grammar School in 1994 whose regrettable bedevilment was an irreconcilable chasm between his promisingly radiant academic voyage and his behavioural theatrics, producing  in him today a great lawyer who is a master at image-mangling narratives on personalities. Because this pitiable karmic bedevilment followed him ubiquitously like ‘kwashiorkor, The unforeseen camp-follower of not just our war’ in JP Clark’s ‘The Casualties’, Pele studied Law at the Delta State University, Abraka and graduated in 2010 with a THIRD CLASS in academic performance. He went to the Nigeria Law School in the 2011-2012 session and failed; he repeated in the 2012 -2013 session and failed; he repeated in the 2013-2014 session and failed again; he repeated in the 2014-2015 session and eventually passed with a PASS GRADE and got called to the bar. This is the story of the highly intelligent Pele being called to the bar in 2015 after SERIAL FAILURES.

Trailed by his karmic bedevilment he was called to the bar in 2015 after repeated repellent dance steps. Sadly, as if his karmic bedevilment were not enough, having been called to the bar, he has just adopted another bedevilment – it is the bedevilment of the authorship of image-mangling narratives already blessed with its inseparable karmic counterpart. Could this be the dance of a Lawyer who is fittingly a legal camp-follower?

The psychological composition of Pele parallels the legendary Ewiri in Ijaw folktales and the Ewiri in JP Clark’s The Ozidi Saga. By the puppetry of Pele’s behavioural histrionics feted coincidentally in a month of CRY DAY celebratory dance for Tompolo he is taxonomically the OLU CRAB constantly burrowing into the soil for havoc-creation. Could he therefore be the ABEDIKIRISOU of Africa?

However, for the militants who do not know Pele, he is a narcissistic person who sees himself as the fitting personification of every good ideal and every good personality both in life and in fictional works. He sees himself as the Okolo in Gabriel Okara’s The Voice but lacks the ethical stamina, root and depth typical of Okolo; he sees himself as the political, activist and legal Ozidi in JP Clark’s The Ozidi Saga but without the defining features of Ozidi, not even representing issues that bear resemblance to the issues of injustice and bloodletting that give birth to Ozidi’s reprisal war of justice. He also quixotically sees himself as Gani; he sees himself too as Isaac Boro while he serially churns out nonsensical narrative on a man (Tompolo) seen largely as the personification of late Isaac Boro in ideal-pursuit. Pele is indeed a man of unceasing contradictions in his known ideals of image-pulverisation.

Pele is a cunningly intelligent young man who is not defined by any identifiable principle and value beyond his directionless derogatory voyage taken on constantly to reinforce and advance his megalomaniacal image of himself and charm his clique of benighted admirers. He has a knack for putting up hysterical opposition, protest and defence of the indefensible, and when he materially finds himself lodged in the quicksand as regards factual validation of his hysterical narratives, he would dramatically drum up a propaganda that he had been pressurized by highly respected person to backpedal. Pele would then cleverly abandon his hysterical dance sympathized by his ego-boosting claim that ARMAGEDDON would have been let loose but for the timely intervention of well-meaning persons.

No individual better personifies farce than Pele as he increasingly sees himself as the only force intellectually equipped to stop any invasive force of manipulation – even where it does not exist. He is a man farcically excited to lead protests against even God for delayed rainfall and delayed tidal flow in the still waters of Gogigbene River. Only farcically quixotic character protests against God over delayed rainfall and delayed tidal flow. The man who dellusionally sees himself as all-knowing often questions and cavils at everything even when things are progressively normal in the society. For an all-knowing  man like Pele gifted with evidence to litigate against God Almighty in the Supreme Court of Nigeria but who, alas, is yet to win any case in  the court or who is yet to pursue any legal matter to its logical conclusion in any court, the militants unknowingly wasted their precious time advising him to desist from image-battering narrative on Tompolo.

When a growing child is always full of maledictions upon people at the slightest provocation, invoking the destructive mystical powers of known gods against such people, the child is taken to a shrine in the community where the chief priest carries out malediction-reversal ritual on the person. The moment this malediction-reversal ritual is performed, any maledictions angrily invoked upon people in the name of the destructive powers of the gods would become null and void because the gods had been propitiated in advance not to act on the maledictions of the child who is uncannily obsessed with maledictions. The third theory on the anatomy of Pele embodies this understanding. Image-battering, delirious, irrational, hysterical, pathological, obsessional and vindictive as the narratives of Pele on Tompolo and other personalities in the social media are, Demebide Pele should be seen as the child upon whom malediction-reversal ritual has been performed, and who should therefore be given a vast space to rant and rave on the social media because his uninhibited ranting constitutes the only medication for his congenitally incurable verbal schizophrenia.

For a ritualistically bought mouth like Demebide Pele’s, pathologically honed to produce hysterical image-mangling narratives on Tompolo and many others, let the world know that Tompolo is clothed with  pachydermatous white clothes because the viper of a cobra can never penetrate the carapace of tortoise and inflict pains and lacerations on its physiological compositions. As for Pele, let him enjoy his elevation to the golden seat of ACETYLCHOLINESTERASE endowed with the power to clog the flow of positive narratives on Tompolo, and endowed with the power to lubricate the flow of image-battering narratives on Tompolo as a fixed catalyst since anatomical researches on him (Pele) have thrown up the fact that a vast space allowed him to merchandise his irrational narratives has become the only potent medication for his congenitally incurable verbal schizophrenia – a naked lawyer whose narratives and emotional outbursts are not guided by the weight of any supportive evidence; a naked lawyer dead to the potential of defamation in his iconoclastic dance taken on hysterically; a naked lawyer whose knowledge of law is not weighted in his famished hysterical narratives on highly respected people.


Writes from Akparemogbene

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